Peace? Freedom?? Was our previous life peaceful and free?! No matter what it was, I wish I could live it again and I wonder if I can really live it again.
I wont complain about not having 24/24 electric power at home. I would love to drive in traffic jam in Beirut suburbs on a midsummer day. I wont curse or swear (silently) at the greedy drivers with their smoky cars. I wont mind driving in the alleys of the suburbs. I wont complain about the fuel prices as long as I can fill my car tank with gasoline anytime any where. I wont mind cleaning our beaches from dirt and garbage. I wont mind being asked What time are you coming back home? as long as I can go anywhere I want and enjoy with friends. I would wake up very early in the morning to be in school on time. I wont nag about working at weekends. I wont complain about having some naughty noisy lazy students in my class. I wont complain about the problems I face at work. I want my previous life back!
I miss Ali who used to make fun of anything around. I miss Amina who always wanted to be the first to answer any of my questions, even if she knew she might be wrong. I miss Mustafa, the chubby cute boy. I miss Hassan who used to say mith instead of miss. I miss Malak with her daily love letters. I miss Mohammed, Nermeen, Rami, Zeinab, Aisha, Nour, Natalie, Kareem, Haneen I miss all my students who may be homeless now or who may be trapped in their southern villages.
I miss looking at our sea not wondering where the warships might be. I miss meditating at our CLEAR skies. I miss watching boring news criticizing this politician or that.
Its now that I appreciate and long for my previous life that I had no idea it would ever end this way. Such a big nagger I was. I didnt realize the bright side of my life. Its now that Im aware of what I missed... and its just now that I call it peaceful and free life it will take years to have it back. We wont forget what we passed through, we wont let go our rage and wrath.
